Revised Rough Draft Formal Paper#2

North Salinas High

55 Kip st Salinas, CA 93906                                                 

Samantha Lopez

            Dear Samantha,

            I am writing this letter to you to hopefully help you through the pressure that the majority of young women go through, when confronted with healthy weight verses what you see on TV. In middle schools, high schools, and in every neighborhood around the country there are young teens, as well as young adult women, that have one or two things that they would change about their bodies. I have also watched my two sisters’; including me, struggle with losing weight or being up to society’s standards of “thin and attractive”. I remember in high school the girls who were thin were out going and succeeded in school as well as in popularity. The reason that I am writing you this letter Sam is to hopefully help broaden your perspective on what are unrealistic expectations that we as women set. In every neighborhood around the country young girls such as yourself are looking in the mirror and comparing themselves with what they see in music videos, TV shows, their favorite singers, and in the movies that they watch. How can we compete with airbrushing, almost downright starvation, in extreme cases, and holding ourselves up to standards that are almost impossible to achieve without developing grave consequences. Young teens and their negative body images in America is a big issue that we as a community have to take a stand against.                                

            The media has increasingly exacerbated the negative consequences associated with body imaging. According to Emma Halliwell, expert in applied social psychology “exposure to ultra-thin media models leads to increased body image concerns amongst women”(410).  Think about message you are receiving every time you turn on your TV. It is a form mental pollution. This epidemic is reaching families all around the world. A study was conducted in which women were exposed to “ultra-thin” models. The negative impact on how they viewed their bodies astounding. Then the researchers exposed the same women to a different set of images displaying models who were averaged size yet attractive and healthy. The women reacted to the healthy sized models with “lower levels of body focused anxiety”. When you watch television, whether you are aware of it or not, women internalize the underweight models used in advertisement and this creates an uncontrolled stress. We can change this for all women around the country by not supporting the use of underweight models.        

            You are not alone. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, commonly known as ANDA “95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages 12 to 25”. What I find more nerve racking is also stated by the ANDA “69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape,[and] the body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only 5% of American females”. As a young woman, I know the hardships of maintaining the appearance of being thin by society’s standards. When I look at the facts there is no possible way that I or the other 95% of women can possible achieve the body shape of models portrayed on TV. Every day when we watch our favorite TV shows and commercials we are being fed, nonstop, images of mental goals that we set for ourselves that are unrealistic and unattainable.

            The pressure to emulate the ectomorphic physique seen in a small fraction of women who starve, train, and audition themselves for TV and magazines is causing women to develop eating disorders. This issue is not being solved for the betterment of young people around the country. . How can we give our full attention to academics when we are trying to count calories, skip meals, take stimulant diet pills, or go on the newest fad of starvation?  The reality is that we should exercise, eat healthy food and tell ourselves positive things. Our bodies were made the way that god intended them to be. If we want to feel good and look good it has to start from the inside out. 

Formal paper #2 rough draft

                                                            Formal paper {draft}

            In middle schools, high schools, and in every neighborhood around the country there are young teens, as well as young adult women, that have one or two things that they would change about their bodies. I have also watched my two sisters’ struggle with losing weight or being “thinner” this also includes me. I remember in high school the girls who were thin were out going and succeeded in school as well as in sports. The reason that I am writing you this letter Sam is to hopefully help you through this body issue that I know almost every woman, or girl has. In every neighborhood around the country young girls such as yourself are looking in the mirror and comparing themselves with what they see in music videos, TV shows, their favorite singers, and in the movies that they watch. How can we compete with airbrushing, almost downright starvation, in some cases, holding ourselves up to standards that are almost impossible to achieve without developing grave consequences. Body imaging and our young women in America is a big issue that we as a community have to take a stand against.                                   

            Body imaging and how the media has affected women has increased in negative consequences over the years. According to Emma Halliwell, expert in applied social psychology “exposure to ultra-thin media models leads to increased body image concerns amongst women”(410).  Have we ever stopped to think about what message we are sending to our youth as well as the mental pollution that we are clouding our own brains with? Whether you have a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, or your wife whoever it may be this epidemic is reaching families all around the world. In this study done with women and being exposed to “ultra-thin” models and the negative effect that it has on how our bodies reacted to these imaged were astounding. Then the researchers exposed the same women to images of models who were attractive and average sized, healthy and fit. The reaction that the women in the study had to the healthy sized models was one of “lower levels of body focused anxiety”. 

Annotated Bibliography Formal Paper #2

                                                               Works Cited

Peacock, Louisa, and Sam Marsden. "Rise in Stay-at-home Fathers." The Telegraph. N.p., n.d.

Web. 4 May 2013.

The classic traditional roles in America where the woman stays at home and the man works and supports the family are being reversed. As reported this year reached a record high on stay at home fathers while the women are making six figures. As Marsden reports “There were 227,000 men staying at home to look after family between September and November last year, a rise of 19,000 compared to the same period in 2011 and the highest increase since figures began in 1993.” This especially pertains to my research on non traditional roles increasingly becoming more the “norm” in America’s current culture. While this is not true in all areas in America like the southern states which still seem to be battling with racism, which I find preposterous sense black people where able to vote 50 years before women. These switches of gender roles in America seem to be a more modern trend.

Dunleavey, M. P. "REFLECTIONS." REFLECTIONS. By M.P. DUNLEAVEY Published: January 27, 2007, 27 Jan.

2007. Web. 05 May 2013.

                In this article it pertains to my research paper by going into the fact that maybe we aren’t ready to change roles and the uncertainty that goes along with these big changes that are happening in Americas society. According to Dunleavey “The patterns that seem “normal” when the husband is the breadwinner don’t hold up when women earn most or even all of the income.” In this article Dunleavey argues that we America may not be ready for these changes in gender roles. For men this is a hard shift because a lot of men associate aspects of their personality by their ability to provide for their families. As for women it may cause depression for all the stress that goes into being the only one in the house hold that is bringing income into the house.    

RA#3 Rereading America

　
Brenna Gustafson
Stacey Knapp
English 1A
1 May 2013
                                                   RA#3 Rereading America


In the article "Rereading America" by David Kupelian the article starts off with his son's boy scout law. The
article is about America and the commerialized media and music industry influencing the youth in a negative
way that is degrading towards what America should be or had been at one point. Kupelian makes a few
claims about the way that music is sold to young American teens. He claims that massive music corporations
achive success on a large scale by sending "spies"(650) to take note of what is deemed cool. The article is
about corruption, manipulation, and trickery on our youth. In the article the audience that seems to be
targeted is mostly parents who have trouble with their children, or a person that may have friends that have a
rebellious teen. The audience has to be expecting a solution for the problem that Kupelian is bringing into
light. Through out the article I was left feeling like there was no hope for change, which I believe that was the
author's intention. Kupelian appears to have a his facts in order and he gives the appearance that he knows
what he is talking about. The ulimate goal that this article was drawn up for is to open America's eyes and to
make difference in how corporations are dealing with America. Kupelian makes his purpose known all
throughout his article and gives you the feeling to make a difference. The article is taking place in the present
time here in America as well as other countries. The situation that took place for this piece of writing to
reach us readers is issues with his son compromising morals that he had taught his son, which then led to a
seperation between his son and his self. This article is meaningful to America, which is a country with major
corruption. This is a article that was writen by a few people to back up that claims that were made in this
article. The genre for this article is more towards informal then formal, but yet it does not seem like that type
of article with no facts more towards educational. The style stays consistant through out the article. The
author breaks down his article in sections, probably do to the fact that there is alot of information that he
wants to get across to the audience, first introducing the idea he wants to implant, then suporting it with evidence, and last making personal connections so that the audience can relate. This article seems to use all three Logos, Pathos, and Ethos. Kupelian mostly used Logos and Pathos. He uses a lot of persuaion tactics by narration and analysis. This is a well developed article that does strike emotion in the intended reader.

how can i make a difference

Brenna Gustafson

Stacey Knapp

English 1A

28 April 2013

                                                            If I Could Make a Difference

            If I could make a difference in my community I would want to create more positive outlets for children to be a part of in hopes that they would have a chance at life without gangs. There are many aspects of why kids go towards gangs. To get to the heart of the problem that is affecting nearly all neighborhoods in America one would have to break down the components of why kids go towards gangs. So I ask myself what are the problems and how can I counter act the appeal of gang life? The problems that I can see are lack of proper support from parents or parent, lack of education from parents on the signs of their children’s fascination towards gangs, the lack of positive support from teachers and adults in children’s lives, and the lack of things for children to do after school. In order for a drastic change to happen the whole community would have to participate in the rehabilitation of our young.

            It is one of the hardest problems to tackle, and that is the lack of proper support from a single or both parents. A lot of the time parents do not care what their children are doing. Parents also minimize and justify their children’s behavior. I would want a law set in place for those parents who let their children do what they want to lose parental rights and for the parents who really care about their kids there should be free classes on parenting that should be mandatory, which our community should offer. Not every situation is black and white and not every parent who is unintentionally neglecting their child is doing so purposely. Every case would have to be really examined with care by someone who cared about the lives of our young.

            There is also a lack of education available to parents who notice signs that their children are acting out. I would want to start groups that parents can go to help them set boundaries and stick to them no matter what. It is imperative for parents to be able to catch the signs before it is too late.  The is only a small amount of time that you have before you lose your kid for good then it is too late and your child will be lost in the never ending cycle of jails, institutions, and misery. For those parents who say that they do not have the time for groups I would say to you that you will regret not taking time off for your kid to save their life because when your kid turns thirteen or fourteen it will be too late. Gangs recruit kid young and the reason for that is young kids are easily manipulated.      

            It sounds like a lot but it is worth it to invest time and money in our youth they are the future. You may not think that this can happen to you but gangs are reaching the suburbs. I went through this with my nephew who is now fifteen. I saw the early signs of him going down the wrong road. I followed my simple rules and I was able to help him through the grips of gang life.

RR# 3 Rereading America

Brenna Gustafson

Stacy Knapp

English 1 a

14 April 2013

                                                         RR#3 Rereading America

            In the book "Rereading America" by editors Gary Colombo, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie

Lisle there is this very heavy and controversial topic that is affecting America presently. The

book is about teens peer pressure, and how the corporations in America are capitalizing on our

counties youth's so called" rebellion". According to Rushkoff  “Today five enormous companies

are responsible for selling nearly all of youth culture"(650). Rushkoff goes on by saying that

these giant corporations go after our youth by sending spies to watch and find out what is so

called "cool". This statement is not very surprising. If one really takes a look at any big

corporation whether it be a food corporation or anything that is being sold to us it is clear as day

that the only thing that really matters is money. There is no integrity in the money

making business, no moral standards, and ultimately it is about turning a profit at the expense of

whoever stands in the way.

  In the chapter "No Limits" the subject of this part in the book is the momentum that is

building to do the most shocking trends and inventive lengths that people are trying to be

enlightened. The author touches on the fact that any crazy or some may say horrifying trends can

be made to sound appealing, but when one looks at the actual trend it may not be what you

thought you were buying into. This chapter goes over the new trend called suspension and the

way that people are being drawn into this crazy notation of “freeing yourself”. To me this is a

form of marketing to try to sell people things to get our hard earned money. Anything that needs

to be dressed up for consumption is a way of tricking people. Something that we as humans are

searching for like a product, idea, style, music, spiritual enlightenment, should not be dressed up

in manipulated ways to make you believe what you are being told, whatever it is that we are

searching for should speak for its self.

            I

In this article I agree with some of what the author is concluding, but on the other hand I

do not think that society can move backwards in time to so call “heal one family at a time” the

bigger issue is not just the corporations or the way marketing is done to reach our young. I think

that way to give the young people of America a chance at a stable, ethical future is to teach

parents how to be good parents. I think that we as a community should offer parenting classes for

the parents who want to make a difference in their children’s lives. I also think that we should

have stricter laws for parents who do not care about their children. We as America should hold

parents accountable for having kids and not caring for them. There are a lot of people in

America, especially young people, who are trying to find some sort of identity and spiritual

enlightenment and as parents it is our job to fully educated our kid and build their self esteem.

               

MLA information

The source that I used in my topic essay was a  article publish online by Joshua Bearman. According to the UNC University Library  "Citations beginning with names and those beginning with titles are to be alphabetized together. Numbers in titles are treated as though they have been spelled out. For names, alphabetize based on the letters that come before the comma separating the last name from the first, and disregard any spaces or other punctuation in the last name. For titles, ignore articles such as "a" and "the" (and equivalents in other languages) for alphabetization purposes." This information as well as the library 10 that I am taking ,in conjunction with this English1a class, has helped me be able to understand how to properly give credit to the people who have composed or done research on any of the topics that I will be researching.

RA(Persepolis)

Brenna Gustafson      

Stacey Knapp 

English 1A       

22 March 2013

                                                            RA(Persepolis)

            Marjane Satrapi is the author who wrote the book “Persepolis,” which is the book that is

going to mainly focused on in this essay, “Persepolis 2”, and “Chicken with Plums.” In

Persepolis the authors intended audience is implied to be people who are from America.

Persepolis is a story of Marjane Satrapi’s experience growing up in Iran during the time of the

1979 revolution. The author’s intention is to reach people who already have set ideas about

terrorism and the recruiting of terrorists in Iran. In the United States of America, Americans have

a misconception that other countries glorify our western way of life. That may be true for some

countries but to go as far and say that every country idolizes America is egotistical. The tone in

Persepolis is one of dismissal towards the ways in which the reader is assumed to think. To

simply put is that the author portrays that America is not as important as we, Americans, may

think that we are, and Americas way of life may not be that popular as we think it is. Satrapi is

intentionally nonchalant in the aspect of Americas over embellished ideals and customs.   

            The part in this book that is most intriguing is when Satrapi’s parent’s maid comes to her

parents telling them that the school gave one of her sons a gold painted key. Satrapi gives her

audience, who is assumed to already have set ideas about Muslims and the Islamic religion as

well as terrorist, a very different aspect of how the people really feel about what the government

is doing.  The point of view that author seems to be coming from is one of disbelief and shock.

Satrapi’s maid states “They gave this to my son at [the] school. They told the boys that is they

were lucky enough to die, this key would get them into heaven"(99). Satrapi’s choice of words

are strong in meaning intentionally attempting to strip down the misconceptions that American

may have about how the majority of Iranian people feel about the tactics that their government

are doing. This passage is clearly making a bold statement that what America may think about

the people in Iran is not what is really taking place. There is so much visually happening in the

passage Satrapi’s mother is in shock consoling her maid, and the maid who had this defeated

look on her face ,with her body slumped up on her employers couch. The maid stated “All my

life, I’ve been faithful to the religion, if it’s come to this… well, I can’t believe in anything

anymore"(99). This quote clearly demonstrates that the everyday people of Iran do not agree

with the extremists of this revolution. This takes us back to the beginning of this essay’s main

point: America has a misconception of Iranians and how they feel about the government’s ways

of recruitment of terrorists. I believe that the author Marjane Satrapi is successfully able to shed

light on my ideas of the revolution.

RR#2 (Persepolis)

Brenna Gustafson      

Stacy Knapp                                                                                                                                      

English 1A

17 March 2013                       

                                                           RR#2 (Persepolis)

The events that are taking place in the last half of the book “Persepolis”, by Marjane Satrapi Tiran is changing in many ways that, from what I gather, affects her family in a negative way. The Islamic Law has been imposed and the women have to cover themselves to hide their hair because it is attractive to men when women show their hair. Not only are there changes in their attire there are also important events happening in Satrapi’s life such as; she is becoming more mature and able to pick a side with the political stand points happening around her, she meets and hears of some of her family members that were “heroes(61)” that played their roll in the revolution, which is really important to her at this time in her life, the government has started to control everything in the country and executing its citizens for not complying with the Islamic Laws. Two extremely interesting passages that I found very interesting in the book is when Satrapi gets sent to a new school, because she hit the principal of her old school, therefore being expelled. The religious teacher was teaching government controlled, misleading information to the students thus, Satrapi being a slightly more educated young girl, gives personal and factual evidence that is contrary to what the teacher is presenting in class. She gets in trouble at school, but yet she gets congratulated by her father at home. This is extremely different from the adolescents here in America, present time. Adolescents here in America have an element of rebellion but on a way smaller level as opposed to a revolution that Satrapi’s family has embedded into their home life. The second, yet the most interesting, section of the book that I wanted to discuss is the recruitment of young teenage Persian boys into the military. Satrapi stated “The key to paradise was for poor people. Thousands of young kids, promised a better life, exploded on the mine fields with their keys around their necks(102).”  Satrapi goes on to explain that the boys were manipulated by being assured that when they died that they would receive riches beyond their beliefs such as women, money and so forth. Not only were they manipulated by lies the boys were also each given plastic keys painted gold “the key to heaven” worn around their necks. I believe that the majority of Americans do not have the ability to think outside the box and relate themselves to people in other countries. I cannot speak for everyone but I know from years of American history that the American way is to dominate. This situation that was happening at the time in the book can be related to the issue that we are having here in America, how gangs are affecting our young people. I believe that these “terrorists” and gangs have similarities. I was easily able connect the dots gangs here in America usually affect the poorest parts of cities. The other eminent characteristic that I saw was the manipulation done by adults. 

RR #1 (Persepolis)

Brenna Gustafson

Stacy Knapp

English 1a

2 March 2013

                                               Reading Response #1 (Persepolis)                                                                                            In the book “Persepolis,” by Marjane Satrapi, the author tells a graphic “memoir” of her experience growing up in the time of the 1979 Islamic revolution. Marjane Satrapi starts her “memoir” at the end of 1979 and the beginning of 1980 in Iran, as a young school girl who does not fully comprehend what is happening in her country. Marjane gives the reader a child’s view of the political turmoil taking place all around her. As the story progresses her parents reveal that her grandpa was the prime minister chosen by the Shah, her grandpa was a prince robbed of his throne and wealth. Furthermore, Marjane had a certain set of beliefs, that she had been taught in school, which conflicted with the beliefs of her family, and her parents wanted to further educate her on why the revolution was happening. Marjane is young and very impressionable with a more personal connection to the extreme actions of the former “King” Shah.                                                                                                 Marjane Satrapi author of “Persepolis” expresses “I really didn’t know what to think about the veil, deep down I was very religious but as a family we were very modern…”(6). The revolution is reaching her in minor ways, but she still is trying to make sense of these changes, such as; wearing a veil at school, having gender separated classes, and her school converting from a non religious school to religious. In this quote Marjane clearly displays a child’s perception and confusion from being taught conflicting views from school and from her home.                                                                                                                                                             In the first chapter in the book “Persepolis” by Marjane Satrapi, Marjane recalls having a very personal connection with god. She is visited by god regularly. At first she had an infatuation with being a “prophet,” but as times goes on she is starting to understand what the revolution is all about she no longer wants to become a “prophet.”  With new enlightenment, Marjane wants to do her part in the revolution by joining the protests. So she states “for a revolution to succeed, the entire population must support it”(17). This is the first clear statement of her new stance on which side she is gravitating toward, and she seems to be able to make a more educated choice from what she has learned about her country and its leaders.                                                                                           Marjane experiences and becomes aware of the social injustices of her country. The first time that she is really affected by the “social status” is when her maid, who came to live with her family at a young age, was not able to have a relationship with a neighborhood boy. That is a very important point in her life because even though her parents were protesting they still were bonded to old customs and beliefs. She argues this “dad, are you for or against social classes[!]”(37). She is saddened by the social inequality that marks that difference between her and her maid, but yet in her heart she sees her maid as not only her equal but her sister(37).                                                                                                                                                                Marjane is becoming aware of what she believes. Many people could probably relate in some way to what this girl is going through, even if it is on a smaller scale. What I related to this book is being taught certain subjects in school which may not be how that event really happened. This book opens a different perception on what happened in Iran at that time. From what was stated in the book I could really empathize with having a country slit in half, both sides having strong beliefs against each other.  The last point that I would like to make is how the girl is, in my opinion, seeing the conflicts in her parent’s beliefs.     

Individual Narrative

Brenna Gustafson

Stacy Knapp

English 1a

9 March 2013

                                                    Argo/The 1979 Revolution                                                                                                                                                                                                             In Joshuah Bearman's article “The Great Escape” on November 4, 1979 in

Tehran, Iranian revolutionists were protesting outside the American Embassy.

The Shah had been overthrown by Ayatollah Khomeini and was in exile.  The

revolutionist had climbed over the gate surrounding the front of the American Embassy.

The Embassy workers were in a panic trying to shred documents and destroy plates that

made visas before being captured. 52 Americans and a dozen Iranians that either worked

in American Embassy or were trying to get visas were captured. Six American embassy

workers managed to escape out a door which exited onto the street of Tehran. The six

people, who escaped, over a three week period of time, were eventually able to find

sanctuary in the Canadian ambassador’s house in Tehran. The six American embassy

workers were able to stay hidden from being captured by the revolutionist.

In America the C.I.A. was trying to come up with the best solution to free the

Americans which were being held captive. The C.I.A. was also devising a plan to extract

the six fortunate Americans that were able to elude captivity. Tony Mendez was an

“authentication chief” working for the C.I.A. he was specialized in fake identities and

matters of that source. He was tirelessly devoting an immense amount of time and energy

to putting together a plan that the white house would not reject. He started to come up

with a solution that involved an agent heading into Tehran posed as a movie producer

looking for a suitable place to film a movie, and flying back with the six Americans that

were in hiding. He would make fake identities for the six Americans who would try to

pose as his film crew.

It was only a matter of time before that Iranians discovered that they had not

captured all of those who were supposed to be in the American embassy at that time. The

situation with the Americans, that were being held hostage, was becoming a dire

situation. They were starting trials and carrying out executions. The Iranians were also

getting close to discovering that they had not captured everyone. As Joshuah Bearman

stated “they had even hired teams of carpet weavers to successfully reassemble shredded

documents (The Great Escape).” If the Iranians discovered that they didn’t have all the

people in captivity that were supposed to be they would mount a search and discover the

Americans.

Tony Mendez had a friend named John Chambers who was discreetly working

with the C.I.A on previous operations. Together they created a movie company so that if

the Iranians check their credentials they would appear to be a legit company. Now that

they had that part of the operation completed all they needed was a movie. They found a

movie that best fit the description of landscape that was in Iran, and it just so happened

that they had the rights to this movie. Tony Mendez then renamed the movie Argo.

                                                                                                      

                                                Works Cited               

Joshuah Bearman."The Great Escape." Longform. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Mar. 2013.

I am...

I am.... I am a student at Cabrillo College. My name is Brenna G. I am twenty three years old. I moved from Salinas to Santa Cruz about four and a half years ago, and I moved to Santa Cruz to live with my mother. I like trying a wide variety of new things for fun. I believe that the more new things that you try give your life more fulfillment  I never took school seriously as a teenager. This is my second semester at Cabrillo. I did not go back to school until I was twenty three, and I filled my time with working. I found that my job was not challenging me academically, and I was experiencing this overbearing craving for more challenges out of my life. That is when I decided that I wanted to go back to school to get a higher education. I cut back my hours at work and signed up for some classes. There are a few “gifts” that I believe that I bring to my class room which is a good attitude for learning new things, I enjoy reading about current events that are happening around the world, and I enjoy writing and learning how to better my writing skills. I also am pretty good with commuters. I am looking forward to learning about the subjects that we are going to be going through in this class. I also have to say that my favorite part about this class is the convenience of doing homework online and not having to print out homework.