Revised Rough Draft Formal Paper#2

North Salinas High

55 Kip st Salinas, CA 93906                                                 

Samantha Lopez

            Dear Samantha,

            I am writing this letter to you to hopefully help you through the pressure that the majority of young women go through, when confronted with healthy weight verses what you see on TV. In middle schools, high schools, and in every neighborhood around the country there are young teens, as well as young adult women, that have one or two things that they would change about their bodies. I have also watched my two sisters’; including me, struggle with losing weight or being up to society’s standards of “thin and attractive”. I remember in high school the girls who were thin were out going and succeeded in school as well as in popularity. The reason that I am writing you this letter Sam is to hopefully help broaden your perspective on what are unrealistic expectations that we as women set. In every neighborhood around the country young girls such as yourself are looking in the mirror and comparing themselves with what they see in music videos, TV shows, their favorite singers, and in the movies that they watch. How can we compete with airbrushing, almost downright starvation, in extreme cases, and holding ourselves up to standards that are almost impossible to achieve without developing grave consequences. Young teens and their negative body images in America is a big issue that we as a community have to take a stand against.                                

            The media has increasingly exacerbated the negative consequences associated with body imaging. According to Emma Halliwell, expert in applied social psychology “exposure to ultra-thin media models leads to increased body image concerns amongst women”(410).  Think about message you are receiving every time you turn on your TV. It is a form mental pollution. This epidemic is reaching families all around the world. A study was conducted in which women were exposed to “ultra-thin” models. The negative impact on how they viewed their bodies astounding. Then the researchers exposed the same women to a different set of images displaying models who were averaged size yet attractive and healthy. The women reacted to the healthy sized models with “lower levels of body focused anxiety”. When you watch television, whether you are aware of it or not, women internalize the underweight models used in advertisement and this creates an uncontrolled stress. We can change this for all women around the country by not supporting the use of underweight models.        

            You are not alone. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, commonly known as ANDA “95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages 12 to 25”. What I find more nerve racking is also stated by the ANDA “69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape,[and] the body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only 5% of American females”. As a young woman, I know the hardships of maintaining the appearance of being thin by society’s standards. When I look at the facts there is no possible way that I or the other 95% of women can possible achieve the body shape of models portrayed on TV. Every day when we watch our favorite TV shows and commercials we are being fed, nonstop, images of mental goals that we set for ourselves that are unrealistic and unattainable.

            The pressure to emulate the ectomorphic physique seen in a small fraction of women who starve, train, and audition themselves for TV and magazines is causing women to develop eating disorders. This issue is not being solved for the betterment of young people around the country. . How can we give our full attention to academics when we are trying to count calories, skip meals, take stimulant diet pills, or go on the newest fad of starvation?  The reality is that we should exercise, eat healthy food and tell ourselves positive things. Our bodies were made the way that god intended them to be. If we want to feel good and look good it has to start from the inside out. 

Formal paper #2 rough draft

                                                            Formal paper {draft}

            In middle schools, high schools, and in every neighborhood around the country there are young teens, as well as young adult women, that have one or two things that they would change about their bodies. I have also watched my two sisters’ struggle with losing weight or being “thinner” this also includes me. I remember in high school the girls who were thin were out going and succeeded in school as well as in sports. The reason that I am writing you this letter Sam is to hopefully help you through this body issue that I know almost every woman, or girl has. In every neighborhood around the country young girls such as yourself are looking in the mirror and comparing themselves with what they see in music videos, TV shows, their favorite singers, and in the movies that they watch. How can we compete with airbrushing, almost downright starvation, in some cases, holding ourselves up to standards that are almost impossible to achieve without developing grave consequences. Body imaging and our young women in America is a big issue that we as a community have to take a stand against.                                   

            Body imaging and how the media has affected women has increased in negative consequences over the years. According to Emma Halliwell, expert in applied social psychology “exposure to ultra-thin media models leads to increased body image concerns amongst women”(410).  Have we ever stopped to think about what message we are sending to our youth as well as the mental pollution that we are clouding our own brains with? Whether you have a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, or your wife whoever it may be this epidemic is reaching families all around the world. In this study done with women and being exposed to “ultra-thin” models and the negative effect that it has on how our bodies reacted to these imaged were astounding. Then the researchers exposed the same women to images of models who were attractive and average sized, healthy and fit. The reaction that the women in the study had to the healthy sized models was one of “lower levels of body focused anxiety”. 

Annotated Bibliography Formal Paper #2

                                                               Works Cited

Peacock, Louisa, and Sam Marsden. "Rise in Stay-at-home Fathers." The Telegraph. N.p., n.d.

Web. 4 May 2013.

The classic traditional roles in America where the woman stays at home and the man works and supports the family are being reversed. As reported this year reached a record high on stay at home fathers while the women are making six figures. As Marsden reports “There were 227,000 men staying at home to look after family between September and November last year, a rise of 19,000 compared to the same period in 2011 and the highest increase since figures began in 1993.” This especially pertains to my research on non traditional roles increasingly becoming more the “norm” in America’s current culture. While this is not true in all areas in America like the southern states which still seem to be battling with racism, which I find preposterous sense black people where able to vote 50 years before women. These switches of gender roles in America seem to be a more modern trend.

Dunleavey, M. P. "REFLECTIONS." REFLECTIONS. By M.P. DUNLEAVEY Published: January 27, 2007, 27 Jan.

2007. Web. 05 May 2013.

                In this article it pertains to my research paper by going into the fact that maybe we aren’t ready to change roles and the uncertainty that goes along with these big changes that are happening in Americas society. According to Dunleavey “The patterns that seem “normal” when the husband is the breadwinner don’t hold up when women earn most or even all of the income.” In this article Dunleavey argues that we America may not be ready for these changes in gender roles. For men this is a hard shift because a lot of men associate aspects of their personality by their ability to provide for their families. As for women it may cause depression for all the stress that goes into being the only one in the house hold that is bringing income into the house.    

RA#3 Rereading America

　
Brenna Gustafson
Stacey Knapp
English 1A
1 May 2013
                                                   RA#3 Rereading America


In the article "Rereading America" by David Kupelian the article starts off with his son's boy scout law. The
article is about America and the commerialized media and music industry influencing the youth in a negative
way that is degrading towards what America should be or had been at one point. Kupelian makes a few
claims about the way that music is sold to young American teens. He claims that massive music corporations
achive success on a large scale by sending "spies"(650) to take note of what is deemed cool. The article is
about corruption, manipulation, and trickery on our youth. In the article the audience that seems to be
targeted is mostly parents who have trouble with their children, or a person that may have friends that have a
rebellious teen. The audience has to be expecting a solution for the problem that Kupelian is bringing into
light. Through out the article I was left feeling like there was no hope for change, which I believe that was the
author's intention. Kupelian appears to have a his facts in order and he gives the appearance that he knows
what he is talking about. The ulimate goal that this article was drawn up for is to open America's eyes and to
make difference in how corporations are dealing with America. Kupelian makes his purpose known all
throughout his article and gives you the feeling to make a difference. The article is taking place in the present
time here in America as well as other countries. The situation that took place for this piece of writing to
reach us readers is issues with his son compromising morals that he had taught his son, which then led to a
seperation between his son and his self. This article is meaningful to America, which is a country with major
corruption. This is a article that was writen by a few people to back up that claims that were made in this
article. The genre for this article is more towards informal then formal, but yet it does not seem like that type
of article with no facts more towards educational. The style stays consistant through out the article. The
author breaks down his article in sections, probably do to the fact that there is alot of information that he
wants to get across to the audience, first introducing the idea he wants to implant, then suporting it with evidence, and last making personal connections so that the audience can relate. This article seems to use all three Logos, Pathos, and Ethos. Kupelian mostly used Logos and Pathos. He uses a lot of persuaion tactics by narration and analysis. This is a well developed article that does strike emotion in the intended reader.

how can i make a difference

Brenna Gustafson

Stacey Knapp

English 1A

28 April 2013

                                                            If I Could Make a Difference

            If I could make a difference in my community I would want to create more positive outlets for children to be a part of in hopes that they would have a chance at life without gangs. There are many aspects of why kids go towards gangs. To get to the heart of the problem that is affecting nearly all neighborhoods in America one would have to break down the components of why kids go towards gangs. So I ask myself what are the problems and how can I counter act the appeal of gang life? The problems that I can see are lack of proper support from parents or parent, lack of education from parents on the signs of their children’s fascination towards gangs, the lack of positive support from teachers and adults in children’s lives, and the lack of things for children to do after school. In order for a drastic change to happen the whole community would have to participate in the rehabilitation of our young.

            It is one of the hardest problems to tackle, and that is the lack of proper support from a single or both parents. A lot of the time parents do not care what their children are doing. Parents also minimize and justify their children’s behavior. I would want a law set in place for those parents who let their children do what they want to lose parental rights and for the parents who really care about their kids there should be free classes on parenting that should be mandatory, which our community should offer. Not every situation is black and white and not every parent who is unintentionally neglecting their child is doing so purposely. Every case would have to be really examined with care by someone who cared about the lives of our young.

            There is also a lack of education available to parents who notice signs that their children are acting out. I would want to start groups that parents can go to help them set boundaries and stick to them no matter what. It is imperative for parents to be able to catch the signs before it is too late.  The is only a small amount of time that you have before you lose your kid for good then it is too late and your child will be lost in the never ending cycle of jails, institutions, and misery. For those parents who say that they do not have the time for groups I would say to you that you will regret not taking time off for your kid to save their life because when your kid turns thirteen or fourteen it will be too late. Gangs recruit kid young and the reason for that is young kids are easily manipulated.      

            It sounds like a lot but it is worth it to invest time and money in our youth they are the future. You may not think that this can happen to you but gangs are reaching the suburbs. I went through this with my nephew who is now fifteen. I saw the early signs of him going down the wrong road. I followed my simple rules and I was able to help him through the grips of gang life.

RR# 3 Rereading America

Brenna Gustafson

Stacy Knapp

English 1 a

14 April 2013

                                                         RR#3 Rereading America

            In the book "Rereading America" by editors Gary Colombo, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie

Lisle there is this very heavy and controversial topic that is affecting America presently. The

book is about teens peer pressure, and how the corporations in America are capitalizing on our

counties youth's so called" rebellion". According to Rushkoff  “Today five enormous companies

are responsible for selling nearly all of youth culture"(650). Rushkoff goes on by saying that

these giant corporations go after our youth by sending spies to watch and find out what is so

called "cool". This statement is not very surprising. If one really takes a look at any big

corporation whether it be a food corporation or anything that is being sold to us it is clear as day

that the only thing that really matters is money. There is no integrity in the money

making business, no moral standards, and ultimately it is about turning a profit at the expense of

whoever stands in the way.

  In the chapter "No Limits" the subject of this part in the book is the momentum that is

building to do the most shocking trends and inventive lengths that people are trying to be

enlightened. The author touches on the fact that any crazy or some may say horrifying trends can

be made to sound appealing, but when one looks at the actual trend it may not be what you

thought you were buying into. This chapter goes over the new trend called suspension and the

way that people are being drawn into this crazy notation of “freeing yourself”. To me this is a

form of marketing to try to sell people things to get our hard earned money. Anything that needs

to be dressed up for consumption is a way of tricking people. Something that we as humans are

searching for like a product, idea, style, music, spiritual enlightenment, should not be dressed up

in manipulated ways to make you believe what you are being told, whatever it is that we are

searching for should speak for its self.

            I

In this article I agree with some of what the author is concluding, but on the other hand I

do not think that society can move backwards in time to so call “heal one family at a time” the

bigger issue is not just the corporations or the way marketing is done to reach our young. I think

that way to give the young people of America a chance at a stable, ethical future is to teach

parents how to be good parents. I think that we as a community should offer parenting classes for

the parents who want to make a difference in their children’s lives. I also think that we should

have stricter laws for parents who do not care about their children. We as America should hold

parents accountable for having kids and not caring for them. There are a lot of people in

America, especially young people, who are trying to find some sort of identity and spiritual

enlightenment and as parents it is our job to fully educated our kid and build their self esteem.

               

MLA information

The source that I used in my topic essay was a  article publish online by Joshua Bearman. According to the UNC University Library  "Citations beginning with names and those beginning with titles are to be alphabetized together. Numbers in titles are treated as though they have been spelled out. For names, alphabetize based on the letters that come before the comma separating the last name from the first, and disregard any spaces or other punctuation in the last name. For titles, ignore articles such as "a" and "the" (and equivalents in other languages) for alphabetization purposes." This information as well as the library 10 that I am taking ,in conjunction with this English1a class, has helped me be able to understand how to properly give credit to the people who have composed or done research on any of the topics that I will be researching.